0
The Hints (Version 1.1)
dictated to Cindy Wells by Helga the Talking M--se
(Mynd you, m--se dictations can be pretti nasti . . . )
or
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Table of Contents:
Introduction
Playing Strategies
Vague Hints
General
Part I: The Registration
Part II: Gathering the Items
A Sign From God
Plague Village
Witch Village
Black Knight
Outside
The Tent
The Book
Camelot
Castle Loimbard
Castle Anthrax
Outside
Inside
Cave of Caerbannog
Bridge of Death
Part III: Returning Items to Proper Places
Board #1: A Sign From God
Board #2: Plague Village
Board #3: Witch Village
Board #4: Black Knight
Board #5: The Book
Board #6: Camelot
Board #7: Castle Loimbard
Board #8: Castle Anthrax
Board #9: Cave of Caerbannog
Board #10: Bridge of Death
Part IV: Lightening Patsy's Load
Part V: Somewhere Over the Bridge
Specific Hints
General
Part I: The Registration
Part II: Gathering the Items
A Sign From God
Plague Village
Witch Village
Black Knight
Outside
The Tent
The Book
Camelot
Castle Loimbard
Castle Anthrax
Outside
Inside
Cave of Caerbannog
Bridge of Death
Part III: Returning Items to Proper Places
Board #1: A Sign From God
Board #2: Plague Village
Board #3: Witch Village
Board #4: Black Knight
Board #5: The Book
Board #6: Camelot
Board #7: Castle Loimbard
Board #8: Castle Anthrax
Board #9: Cave of Caerbannog
Board #10: Bridge of Death
Part IV: Lightening Patsy's Load
Part V: Somewhere Over the Bridge
For the Desperate: List of Items and How to Get Them
Introduction
This is a list of hints for the dedicated gamer who would not deign to use a
walkthrough. So that you can choose whatever depth of hint you receive.
Hopefully this will serve fellow Monty Python lovers well, and eventually
get them to the King Brian the Wild scene. Eventually hints will be available
directly on-line from 7th Level at http://www.7thlevel.com/. In the meantime,
this should serve you well. While I can't promise that some of the actions I
say you must do to get something are completely necessary, they should get
you what you want. Also, most of the hints pertain to the setting after you
have finished any initial dialogue, and played the mini-game if it becomes
available directly after the dialogue has finished (this pertains to Plague
Village, Witch Village, Black Knight, and Castle Loimbard).
Playing Strategies
1. Fill out the registration form entirely: it won't be sent to 7th Level by
modem, if you're worried about that. Have fun, but make sure to
answer every question, as it will prove to be important later on in the
game.
2. During the gathering items stage, you'll find that the game is mainly
furthered by clicking your cursor on every location possible, so you
should do so at every opportunity.
3. Play the mini-games as soon as they become available, as often there are
things you can do afterwards that you couldn't do beforehand. If it
doesn't seem possible to win it, it probably isn't important to win.
4. There are often items that you can only get on your second visit to a
location, so make sure you've gone everywhere twice before you despair
of finding an item.
5. Make sure you've completed any initial dialogue in a scene before you
explore and try to get anything done.
6. When reading books, don't assume that a series of blank pages means it's
over (it might be that it is over, but check carefully before you
decide).
Vague Hints
General
Q. What's the deal with these birds and coconuts?
A. Ever heard of skeet shooting?
Q. Who's the little guy going by with the cart? Is he important?
A. Help! Help! He's being repressed!
Part I: The Registration
Q. Is there anything I should keep in mind while doing this? Is it some sort
of a game?
A. Have fun and fill everything out. As to importance, have you seen the
movie?
Part II: Gathering the Items
A Sign From God
Q. There's a grail outline up on the billboard. Does it mean there's a grail
I can take?
A. Yes, once it fills out.
Q. Is there anything important in those holes?
A. Yes.
Q. Is there anything else available on the billboard besides the Grail
scene?
A. Quite a bit.
Q. What can I do with all these bananas?
A. You could try attacking someone with one.
Q. Is there anything else important to do here?
A. You might want to come back later to pray . . .
Plague Village
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Are you sure you aren't interrupting a conversation?
Q. How do I take the dung?
A. Perseverance is an admirable quality . . .
Q. Who's the naked guy? Is he important?
A. Looking for a few good men? (bouncy, bouncy)
Q. Why can't I see the three naked ladies, the guy, and the
teaspoon in the window?
A. Are you sure you stared long enough?
Q. Can I get into the house? That mean guy won't let me in!
A. King Arthur is a bit too high-handed in his manners . . .
Q. What's with the lady bashing the cat against the wall?
A. Poor cat! Poor wall!
Q. Is that guy way up there on a wheel important?
A. You could hire him for the Psychic Friends Network.
Q. What do I do with the barrel?
A. You could watch all of the nice fishies jump.
Q. What's with this blue hand floating around?
A. Tenacious little bugger, isn't he? He seems quite attached to your
cursor.
Q. What is there to do with the cart?
A. Lots! You can keep clicking, and clicking, and clicking . . .
(boom! boom! boom!)
Q. I blew up part of the cart! What can I do?
A. Nothing . . . yet.
Witch Village
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Are you sure you aren't interrupting a conversation?
Q. What do I do with the bird in the tree
A. Don't shoot him!
Q. What are those organ noises in the crowd for?
A. A little birdie might tell you.
Q. I think I see some gold in the right window behind the crowd. How do I
get to it?
A. A peep show might do the trick.
Q. I "played" the crowd just as I was supposed to, but nothing happened!
A. Echo . . . echo . . . .echo . . .
Q. What's the deal with the butterfly and the flying witch?
A. Very evocative, don't you think?
Q. Who's that guy standing below King Arthur?
A. King Arthur could use some counseling upon his return.
The Black Knight
Outside
Q. Nothing's happening: the Knight went into the tent and left me alone!
A. You'll cross that bridge when you come to it.
Q. I hacked the Black Knight's limbs off, but Arthur still won't go over
the bridge!
A. Like a bridge over troubled ________.
Q. How do I get into the tent?
A. Listen well and take up botany: it's good as gold.
Q. What do I do with the old woman?
A. Picky, picky . . .
Q. Is Lancelot swinging across of any significance?
A. Oh no, does it mean he's a swinger?! Better keep him away from
Galahad . . .
Q. What's the deal with the falling leaf?
A. You'll have to delve into the Black Knight's private life before it's
of use.
The Tent
Q. How do I get into the chest?
A. You could help out a needy department store . . . .
Q. I opened the wardrobe. What do I do here?
A. This should get you through a "tight" spot.
Q. Anything more to this diary on the bed?
A. What does clicking around the bed area signify what it's used for?
Q. When I try to take the sword all I get is a lecture! How do I take it?
A. Isn't there something else you should be doing? In the meantime
check your drawers.
Q. Is there anything significant about the shield?
A. Have you looked at the Black Knight's costume?
The Book
Q. Is there anything significant about the poems and letters?
A. Hmmm, see any Freudian overtones?
Q. Gold! Gold! Gold! How much should I take?
A. Gold is pretty heavy, you know.
Q. What do I do with Intershrub?
A. For now just give the Knights a nice shrub.
Q. Anything else to the book?
A. You might want to return to venerate the Vicious Chicken of Bristol.
Camelot
Q. All that seems to happen when I click on the castle is somebody says
"Camelot".
A. Remember what I said about perseverance?
Q. What do I do with the cloud?
A. Looks like a floating target . . .
Q. Not another bird and coconut!
A. Yup! Sorry . . .
Q. The castle is coming apart!
A. Think of the bricks as souvenirs.
Q. A jumping sun and cloud! Anything I should do?
A. Tut, tut, it looks like golden rain.
Q. They won't let me do anything more, but I need to get Camelot!
A. Camelot will stay there (at least part of it) if you leave.
Q. I'm back, and I've got Camelot. What's with the coffin?
A. The funeral will have to wait.
Castle Loimbard
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Are you sure you aren't interrupting a conversation?
Q. Are any of the knights useful?
A. One's got the crown, one's got the brains, let's make lots of . . .
er, excuse me
Q. Alright, I figured out the crown allusion: what do I *do* with him?
A. Ah, it's the old perseverance ploy again.
Q. I figured out the brains one too, but he only talks or has something come
out of his skirt!
A. Are you sure there isn't still even more you should be doing?
Q. What do I do with these wacky French guys?
A. Do some masonry work first. There is great strength in stillness.
Anthrax
Outside
Q. I don't want to be called a sissy. Is there a way to get in the hard
way?
A. Have you tried scaling the walls with suction cups?
Q. How do I get the grail from the beacon above the castle?
A. You should get a spanking for such impudence! (Me too, please?)
Q. What are those numbers above the door for?
A. Time for yet another spanking . . .
Q. Is there something I should do before I go in?
A. Create a light show. Celebrate the four seasons.
Q. What on earth do you mean by a light show?
A. Brush up on your astrology then scale the towers.
Q. And what about the four seasons?
A. Does anyone know what ever happened to Twiggy?
Q. Why does this monk guy keep carving the tree?
A. You won't know until you've done your holy task at Anthrax.
Q. Zoot's popped up now. What do I do with her?
A. Well, Cupid's been doing the shooting so long, maybe he should know
what it feels like.
Inside
Q. Golly, this Spank the Virgin game is easy. Is there a reason why I'm
doing this?
A. Have you noticed the odd tattoos in the Nude Bonus Round?
Q. What do I do with these virgins?
A. Call a group meeting?
Q. The virgins keep changing clothes, but when they get to costumes they
stop. Why?
A. Maybe they're displeased that you haven't finished your task.
Q. Who's this virgin who popped up in the center?
A. Repeat the process to find out.
Cave of Caerbannog
Q. Who were those knights who popped out?
A. Maybe you should invite them back if you get a chance.
Q. What are all these explosions when I click on the landscape?
A. Foreshadowing
Q. What do I do with Tim?
A. Maybe Arthur could have a chat.
Q. Oh no, it's the rabbit! What a mean rodent! What do I do?
A. What do you think the spare knights are there for?
Q. OK, I charged, and now I've got the Holy Hand-Grenades. How do I
use them?
A. Make sure you release on 3: spare knights make good targets.
Q. It's a dragon! What do I do?
A. Don't think, just click.
Q. Why won't the guy give me the Goldy Hail? I keep clicking on it!
A. Wait and see . . .
Q. Anything more to do here?
A. Caves can hide *lots* of things.
Q. Oh my gosh: I shot a peasant! Is my Karma ruined forever?
A. You could always ask Joseph . . .
Q. The wooden rabbit is killing knights, and I've tried clicking on it!
How do I take it?
A. Double your efforts.
Q. Should I be doing anything with the pedestal?
A. Later, alligator.
The Bridge of Death
Q. What a nice mountain range in the background. Can you do anything
with it?
A. You could measure it's surface area.
Q. OK, I've gotten everything in my inventory, but the bridge keeper
won't talk to me!
A. Maybe the messenger distracted him.
Q. What *is* the capital of Assyria? I died!
A. What does a prostitute do?
Q. He finally let me by! However, there seem to be quite a few boards missing
on the bridge and I can't cross it!
A. This problem will lead us nicely into . . .
Part III: Returning Items to Proper Places
Before we go on, let me explain what this stage is about. Right now there
aren't enough boards to cross the bridge. However, there are ten important
items in your inventory, and if each of them are placed right (one per scene,
and all in different locations from where they were picked up) in the right
places, each will bring one board to the bridge for a total of 10. If you've
already placed some of the items, and the numbers that you see you need
don't match the locations that are listed here, don't worry: it's a bit of a
bug in the program, and what you see is there on the bridge doesn't always
match what you've done. As a reference, each board is numbered 1-10: 1 is a
Sign From God, and 10 is the Bridge of Death, with every other one numbered
in the order you pass through between those two locations. Remember what
locations you haven't placed items in, and use that as your guide.
Board #1: A Sign From God
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The writing's on the wall.
Q. What do I place there?
A. This one is a bit redundant.
Board #2: Plague Village
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Ever heard of the Holy Grill?
Q. What do I place there?
A. Where would Arthur have barbecues?
Board #3: Witch Village
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. What happened when you "played" the crowd?
Q. What do I place there?
A. Cover her up somehow!
Board #4: Black Knight
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Where in the tent can you get ahead?
Q. What do I place there?
A. What do think would suit the location's mumblings?
Board #5: The Book
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The answer to this is outlined on one of the pages.
Q. What do I place there?
A. What fits the outline?
Board #6: Camelot
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. It's funeral time.
Q. What do I place there?
A. What in your inventory is getting ripe?
Board #7: Castle Loimbard
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Heads up! Another outline!
Q. What do I place there?
A. Besides the outline, what item technically belongs there?
Board #8: Castle Anthrax
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. A place might just pop up.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Something that belongs there.
Board #9: Cave of Caerbannog
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. What place isn't busty enough?
Q. What do I place there?
A. A name is everything.
Board #10: Bridge of Death
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Somebody left a pile next to the bridge.
Q. What do I place there?
A. It's a sign of the times.
Part IV: Lightening Patsy's Load
If you go forward over the bridge you'll notice that you fall through.
Patsy's pack is too heavy! This section will seem like the antithesis to
Part II, i.e. this part will be about getting rid of the items you worked so
hard to collect. However, unless you gorged on gold in the book, pretty
much everything you took was necessary to further the game. So roll out
the barrel and go on a shrub buying spree!!
Q. How do I get rid of all of my items (aside from the gold)?
A. We'll have a barrel of fun!
Q. How do I get rid of the gold?
A. Go on-line.
Q. I spent some gold on shrubbery, but now I have less left than the
cheapest shrub!
A. Don't you remember what you learned in math class? There's still a bank
open, though.
Q. What can I take across the bridge safely?
A. The key is the four of cups
Part V: Somewhere Over the Bridge
Q. I've watched the King Brian sequence. How do I open the chest?
A. You should have figured out the key to that a while back.
Specific Hints
General
Q. What's the deal with these birds and coconuts?
A. Just shoot the bird and take the coconut. You have to do this for the
game to go on.
Q. Who's the little guy going by with the cart? Is he important?
A. It's Dennis! He's mainly a distraction, although you often can do things
after he leaves that you couldn't before
Part I: The Registration
Q. Is there anything I should keep in mind while doing this? Is it some sort
of a game?
A. Keep an eye on the questions the Bridge Keeper asks in the movie, i.e.
name, quest, favorite color capital of Assyria, etc.
Part II: Gathering the Items
A Sign From God
Q. There's a grail outline up on the billboard. Does it mean there's a grail
I can take?
A. The grail will fill out just after you get the gold. Then you can take it.
Q. Is there anything important in those holes?
A. You can get gold, a helmet, and bananas from them.
Q. Is there anything else available on the billboard besides the Grail scene?
A. After you take the Holly Grail, click the sides of the billboard where
the clouds are to see the rest.
Q. What can I do with all these bananas?
A. Nothing. The bananas are useless, but they fill out the inventory nicely.
Q. Is there anything else important to do here?
A. Come back later and click on the billboard until God comes back. Click
on his beard until you get Zoot's Medallion.
Plague Village
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Keep clicking on the Dead Gatherer until the old man is silent. Click
on the old man, then play Drop Dead.
Q. How do I take the dung?
A. After you take the gold under it, just keep clicking on it. You might
have to do more in the scene first.
Q. Who's the naked guy? Is he important?
A. Take the knights quickly as they bounce off the old man, and only stop
when there are no more left.
Q. Why can't I see the three naked ladies, guy, and teaspoon in the window?
A. Are you sure you stared long enough?
Q. Can I get into the house? That mean guy won't let me in!
A. While Arthur's manners don't help, you won't be able to get in.
Q. What's with the lady bashing the cat against the wall?
A. Click on that doorway until the lady bashes a hole in the wall with the
cat. Click on the hole.
Q. Is that guy way up there on a wheel important?
A. Aside from his prescience, he has no value.
Q. What do I do with the barrel?
A. You won't use this until much later. (Section III)
Q. What's with this blue hand floating around?
A. He won't go away until he's got you. To get rid of him (when he's
gripped you with his fist), click as far to the upper left of your
monitor as you can.
Q. What is there to do with the cart?
A. You can further the plot, as well as get the dead body (on 2nd visit), and
satisfy the pyromaniac within. You can also click off the left wheel.
Q. I blew up part of the cart! What can I do?
A. You'll need to have this done for Section III, so good job!
Witch Village
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Keep clicking back and forth on Bedevere and the witch until the Burn
the Witch option comes up, then play the game.
Q. What do I do with the bird in the tree
A. Watch him as he lays objects into the crowd. Notice what happens
when he lays a skull.
Q. What are those organ noises in the crowd for?
A. Click on the bird (just don't explode him) until he lays a skull in the
crowd. He'll show you the correct order to play the crowd.
Q. I think I see some gold in the right window behind the crowd. How
do I get to it?
A. Play the crowd as the bird shows, and the witch will open her robe.
Afterwards, just click on the left window behind the crowd and it will
move back so that you can take the gold.
Q. I "played" the crowd just as I was supposed to, but nothing happened!
A. It may take a few repetitions before it works.
Q. What's the deal with the butterfly and the flying witch?
A. This seems to be mainly a confusing distraction. I haven't found any
use for it, at least.
Q. Who's that guy standing below King Arthur?
A. It's Joseph of Aramathea! And look! You have a perfect place for
him in inventory!
The Black Knight
Outside
Q. Nothing's happening: the Knight went into the tent and left me alone!
A. Click on the center of the bridge and he'll come back. Play Knights in
Combat.
Q. I hacked the Black Knight's limbs off, but Arthur still won't go over the
bridge!
A. Click on the ditch until it fills with water. Arthur will cross now.
Q. How do I get into the tent?
A. Click on the steer skull until he tells his full story. Then click on the
leaf on the lower right edge of the screen. After you take the gold
from the old woman, Arthur can go in.
Q. What do I do with the old woman?
A. Click on her nose.
Q. Is Lancelot swinging across of any significance?
A. He's just for atmosphere and comic relief.
Q. What's the deal with the falling leaf?
A. After you have found the PlaySquire magazine in the Black Knight's diary,
click on leaf to get it to fall, then click on it while on the ground. A key
will magically appear for you to take.
The Tent
Q. How do I get into the chest?
A. Just take the mannequin parts. Then you can open the chest.
Q. I opened the wardrobe. What do I do here?
A. Take the black Knight's tights, and note the response of the hat
holder there.
Q. Anything more to this diary on the bed?
A. There's a PlaySquire magazine hidden after several blank pages.
Q. When I try to take the sword all I get is a lecture! How do I take it?
A. You can take the sword after you've gotten the prosthesis, tights, gold,
and read his diary.
Q. Is there anything significant about the shield?
A. The shield shows his coat-of-arms. It's not worth anything more than
comic relief.
The Book
Q. Is there anything significant about the poems and letters?
A. They're just there to read. Enjoy!
Q. Gold! Gold! Gold! How much should I take?
A. Don't take more than you need: you'll have to get rid of it all in the
end to lighten Patsy's pack. Remember this location if you get your
math wrong trying to get rid of all of the money.
Q. What do I do with Intershrub?
A. Just send them a shrubbery for now. You can use the site later to spend
any extra gold.
Q. Anything else to the book?
A. Return to the book later to take the sign of certain death from Sir
Robin's page.
Camelot
Q. All that seems to happen when I click on the castle is somebody says
"Camelot".
A. They'll stop saying it if you click enough times.
Q. What do I do with the cloud?
A. Shoot first, ask questions later.
Q. Not another bird and coconut!
A. They come up in some form in every scene. It usually means you're on the
right track.
Q. The castle is coming apart!
A. Keep taking the bricks until you can't take any more.
Q. A jumping sun and cloud! Anything I should do?
A. Click on the cloud and you'll get some gold.
Q. They won't let me do anything more, but I need to get Camelot!
A. You'll have to leave and then return before you can take the rest of the
bricks and Camelot.
Q. I'm back, and I've got Camelot. What's with the coffin?
A. You won't use it until Part III.
Castle Loimbard
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Keep using the "up hand" and "down hand" to further conversation until
the Catch the Cow option comes up. Play it, although you don't have to
win.
Q. Are any of the knights useful?
A. Only Arthur and Bedevere are of use.
Q. Alright, I figured out the crown allusion: what do I *do* with him?
A. Keep clicking on Arthur until a sheep's bladder comes out. Take it.
Q. I figure out the brains one too, but he only talks or has something come
out of his skirt!
A. The Rolly Polly will only come out of Bedevere's skirt if you've gotten
all the items from the top of the castle.
Q. What do I do with these wacky French guys?
A. You can find both the "vous" and gold by clicking on bricks. Once done,
the right Frenchman should stay still. Click on him until he throws the
Samurai Helmet.
Anthrax
Outside
Q. I don't want to be called a sissy. Is there a way to get in the hard way?
A. Nope. You've got to be a sissy and click on the door 5 times.
Q. How do I get the grail from the beacon above the castle?
A. Play Spank the Virgin in the castle, and you'll find the correct combination
of numbers in the Nude Bonus Round to enter into the combination holder
above the door
Q. What are those numbers above the door for?
A. This is the place you enter the combination you got by playing Spank the
Virgin.
Q. Is there something I should do before I go in?
A. You can turn on flashing lights around the top edge of the castle and
above the door (see next question for details). You can also get some
important items by clicking on the stubby twigs on the lower right
branch. (the stubby twigs are just left of center).
Q. What on earth do you mean by a light show?
A. If you click on the brightest star between the castle and the left tree
trunk, a constellation will pop up. If you keep clicking Virgo the
Virgin will appear (with sound effect). Once done you can click on
the upper edge of the castle until it has flashing lights all across.
Once done, an oval of lights should appear above the door. Click
on it and the "Anthrax" sign will show. Neat, huh?
Q. And what about the four seasons?
A. Click on the stubby twigs on the lower right branch. (the stubby twigs
are just left of center). This should bring up Spring with blossoms.
Clicking at the base of the new branch will cause it to go into Summer
with broccoli. Clicking there twice more at that spot will bring it
through all four.
Q. Why does this monk guy keep carving the tree?
A. He'll leave some gold behind eventually, but only after you've gotten the
Moldy Tail.
Q. Zoot's popped up now. What do I do with her?
A. Just shoot the cupid and take the coconuts. You won't need Zoot again
until Part III.
Inside
Q. Golly, this Spank the Virgin game is easy. Is there a reason why I'm
doing this?
A. The Nude Bonus Round will give you the combination that you need to
have to get the Moldy Tail.
Q. What do I do with these virgins?
A. Click on them until all of the virgins are present. Then it's time to
change clothes.
Q. The virgins keep changing clothes, but when they get to costumes they stop.
Why?
A. You won't get them to continue until you've gotten the Moldy Tail and the
gold from the monk.
Q. Who's this virgin who popped up in the center?
A. Take her through the same costume changes as the other virgins, then take
her bodice after the final change.
Cave of Caerbannog
Q. Who were those knights who popped out?
A. You'll need to bring them all back out for the rabbit to appear. It needs
*someone* to kill.
Q. What are all these explosions when I click on the landscape?
A. It means Tim the Enchanter is coming. Keep clicking until the cave area
explodes.
Q. What do I do with Tim?
A. Maybe Arthur could have a chat. Click on Arthur twice.
Q. Oh no, it's the rabbit! What a mean rodent! What do I do?
A. Go ahead and attack the rabbit. It will only use up those four spare
knights, who will then be magically resurrected.
Q. OK, I charged, and now I've got the Holy Hand-Grenades. How do I use
them?
A. Pick a grenade while holding down the left mouse button and drag it on
top of the rabbit. When he lunges left, release it just as it reaches the
far left knight and Arthur says three. If you don't get the first one, the
next time the rabbit will lunge for the lower right knight.
Q. It's a dragon! What do I do?
A. Click on him when he appears in the hole, then click on him after the
chase is over.
Q. Why won't the guy give me the Goldy Hail? I keep clicking on it!
A. He'll give it to you eventually. He's just being a tease.
Q. Anything more to do here?
A. You still have another bird with a coconut, a peasant to shoot, and a
wooden rabbit to get.
Q. Oh my gosh: I shot a peasant! Is my Karma ruined forever?
A. It's just a game, silly!
Q. The wooden rabbit is killing knights, and I've tried clicking on it!
How do I take it?
A. Try double-clicking on the rabbit instead. This should work.
Q. Should I be doing anything with the pedestal?
A. Wait until Part III.
The Bridge of Death
Q. What a nice mountain range in the background. Can you do anything
with it?
A. It's not just any land, it's Huge Tracts of Land.
Q. OK, I've gotten everything in my inventory, but the Bridge Keeper won't
talk to me!
A. Leave and then return, and the Bridge Keeper should talk to you after the
Historian leaves.
Q. What *is* the capital of Assyria? I died!
A. It's a trick question! You'll die with any answer.
Q. He finally let me by! However, there seem to be quite a few boards missing
on the bridge and I can't cross it!
A. You need more bridge boards to cross. See the next section for where to
put stuff so that more boards will be available to step on.
Part III: Returning Items to Proper Places
Board #1: A Sign From God
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Click on the sides of the billboard until "Huge Tracts of Land" comes up.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag "Huge Tracts of Land" onto the billboard.
Board #2: Plague Village
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. If you click on the cart, one of the explosions will reveal a grill-like
cavity. That's where to put the object.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag Camelot from inventory onto the grill area.
Board #3: Witch Village
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Click on the witch until she opens her robes
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the Virgin's Bodice onto the witch's naked body.
Board #4: Black Knight
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. On the hat rest inside the wardrobe in the Black Knight's tent.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the Samurai Helmet onto the hat rest.
Board #5: The Book
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The sword outline on Sir Lancelot's page.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the Black Knight's Sword onto the outline.
Board #6: Camelot
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The casket (it can be gotten by clicking on the remaining door).
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the Dead Body into the open casket.
Board #7: Castle Loimbard
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The upper part of the rabbit outline on the bricks of the castle above
(in the left section).
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the wooden rabbit onto the upper half of the rabbit out-line.
Board #8: Castle Anthrax
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Click on the bottom (left-of-center) of the screen to get Zoot: it's
her hat.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag Zoot's Medallion onto Zoot's hat.
Board #9: Cave of Caerbannog
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The pedestal with "Joseph" on it.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag Joseph of Aramathea onto the pedestal.
Board #10: Bridge of Death
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. In the far lower left of the screen is a pile of rocks with a hole in it.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the certain death sign over the hole in the pile of rocks.
Part IV: Lightening Patsy's Load
Q. How do I get rid of all of my items (aside from the gold)?
A. Put everything aside from the gold, the fake grails, and the key
into the barrel.
Q. How do I get rid of the gold?
A. Get rid of every single gold coin by choosing the right combination and
number of shrubs on Intershrub.
Q. I spent some gold on shrubbery, but now I have less left than the
cheapest shrub!
A. If you got your math wrong, don't worry: the page before Intershrub has
a nice supply of coins you can take, and please do a better job of
planning your purchases ahead this time!
Q. What can I take across the bridge safely?
A. You can only take the four fake grails and the key.
Part V: Somewhere Over the Bridge
Q. I've watched the King Brian sequence. How do I open the chest?
A. Use the key.
For the Desperate: List of Items and How to Get Them
Blossoms: from twig outside the Castle Anthrax
Broccoli: from twig outside the Castle Anthrax
Wooden Rabbit: from Cave of Caerbannog (after the rabbit is killed
and all objects taken)
Huge Tracts of Land: mountains behind bridge
Coconuts:
A Sign From God: (from bird) clicking on ground after
initial dialogue
Plague: (from bird) clicking on naked man after clicking
on curtains
Witch: (from bird) clicking on Bedevere after playing
Burn the Witch
Black Knight: (from bird) clicking on steer skull in
front of tent after playing Knights in Combat
Book: (from bird) clicking on page after drawing of page
Camelot: (from bird) clicking on castle after clicking on
cloud
Loimbard: (from bird) clicking on Arthur after playing
Catch the Cow
Anthrax: (2 from Cupid) clicking on Zoot after playing
Spank the Virgin
Caves of Caerbannog: clicking on cave after taking Goldy
Hail from Dragon
Bridge of Death: clicking on Bridge Keeper after arriving
at Bridge with all items (w.o. message)
Gold Coins:
A Sign From God: clicking on lower right hole in the ground
repeatedly (could help to get helmet first)
Plague: clicking on hole bashed into the wall by the woman
whacking her cat against the wall repeatedly
Witch: clicking on right window behind the crowd
Black Knight: (outside) clicking on old woman's nose after
clicking on leaf at the lower right of screen
(inside) in top drawer of wardrobe
Book: clicking on page after drawing of page
Camelot: clicking on cloud when sun and cloud come out jumping
after repeatedly clicking on Camelot
Loimbard: clicking on brick in center section of wall,
it's centered vertically, and second from right
Anthrax: left behind by monk after working on tree (after you get
Moldy Tail).
Caves of Caerbannog: by shooting peasant after clicking on cave
(just after getting coconut)
Camelot: Camelot clicking repeatedly on tower when the bricks are gone
Bricks: by clicking on castle (over two visits) until only tower is left
Samurai Helmet: from right Frenchman (after gold and "vous" is found)
Sheep's bladder: by clicking on Arthur enough times at Castle Loimbert
"Vous": Loimbard, in the top brick of the left section of the castle
wall after finding gold
Virgin's Bodice: inside Anthrax by clicking on virgins after getting all
items at Anthrax
Joseph of Aramathea: at 2nd visit to Witch Village
Black Knight's Sword: in Knight's tent, after getting tights, gold, prosthesis,
and reading diary
Key: outside Black Knight's tent, by clicking on fallen leaf after viewing
PlaySquire in tent
Black Knight's Tights: in his tent, hanging in his wardrobe
Holy Prosthesis: in chest inside Black Knight's tent
Certain Death Sign: on Sir Robin's page of the book on 2nd visit
Zoot's Medallion: by clicking on God's beard on the billboard on 2nd visit
Helmet: at Sign From God, gotten by clicking on lower left hole
Bananas: gotten by clicking on center right hole at Sign From God
Dead Body: gotten by clicking on cart upon 2nd visit to Plague Village
Dung: at Plague Village, gotten by clicking on repeatedly after the gold
underneath has been taken
Knights: at Plague Village, gotten by clicking on naked guy, then "catching"
the knights as they bounce off him
Holly Grail: gotten from billboard at Sign From God
Hilly Holly: gotten at some unknown point during 1st visit to Plague Village
Rolly Polly: gotten from underneath Bedevere's skirts after getting all items
at Loimbard
Moldy Hail: gotten by putting the correct combination above the door of Anthrax
Goldy Hail: coughed up by dragon at the Caves of Caerbannog after killing
rabbit
Holy Grail: gotten from chest at end of King Brian the Wild Scene
This hint file can be reproduced in other forums so long as it remains intact.
If you have any comments or corrections please e-mail me at:
or
This hint file soon to become a web site: keep your eyes open!
dictated to Cindy Wells by Helga the Talking M--se
(Mynd you, m--se dictations can be pretti nasti . . . )
or
***************************************************************************
Table of Contents:
Introduction
Playing Strategies
Vague Hints
General
Part I: The Registration
Part II: Gathering the Items
A Sign From God
Plague Village
Witch Village
Black Knight
Outside
The Tent
The Book
Camelot
Castle Loimbard
Castle Anthrax
Outside
Inside
Cave of Caerbannog
Bridge of Death
Part III: Returning Items to Proper Places
Board #1: A Sign From God
Board #2: Plague Village
Board #3: Witch Village
Board #4: Black Knight
Board #5: The Book
Board #6: Camelot
Board #7: Castle Loimbard
Board #8: Castle Anthrax
Board #9: Cave of Caerbannog
Board #10: Bridge of Death
Part IV: Lightening Patsy's Load
Part V: Somewhere Over the Bridge
Specific Hints
General
Part I: The Registration
Part II: Gathering the Items
A Sign From God
Plague Village
Witch Village
Black Knight
Outside
The Tent
The Book
Camelot
Castle Loimbard
Castle Anthrax
Outside
Inside
Cave of Caerbannog
Bridge of Death
Part III: Returning Items to Proper Places
Board #1: A Sign From God
Board #2: Plague Village
Board #3: Witch Village
Board #4: Black Knight
Board #5: The Book
Board #6: Camelot
Board #7: Castle Loimbard
Board #8: Castle Anthrax
Board #9: Cave of Caerbannog
Board #10: Bridge of Death
Part IV: Lightening Patsy's Load
Part V: Somewhere Over the Bridge
For the Desperate: List of Items and How to Get Them
Introduction
This is a list of hints for the dedicated gamer who would not deign to use a
walkthrough. So that you can choose whatever depth of hint you receive.
Hopefully this will serve fellow Monty Python lovers well, and eventually
get them to the King Brian the Wild scene. Eventually hints will be available
directly on-line from 7th Level at http://www.7thlevel.com/. In the meantime,
this should serve you well. While I can't promise that some of the actions I
say you must do to get something are completely necessary, they should get
you what you want. Also, most of the hints pertain to the setting after you
have finished any initial dialogue, and played the mini-game if it becomes
available directly after the dialogue has finished (this pertains to Plague
Village, Witch Village, Black Knight, and Castle Loimbard).
Playing Strategies
1. Fill out the registration form entirely: it won't be sent to 7th Level by
modem, if you're worried about that. Have fun, but make sure to
answer every question, as it will prove to be important later on in the
game.
2. During the gathering items stage, you'll find that the game is mainly
furthered by clicking your cursor on every location possible, so you
should do so at every opportunity.
3. Play the mini-games as soon as they become available, as often there are
things you can do afterwards that you couldn't do beforehand. If it
doesn't seem possible to win it, it probably isn't important to win.
4. There are often items that you can only get on your second visit to a
location, so make sure you've gone everywhere twice before you despair
of finding an item.
5. Make sure you've completed any initial dialogue in a scene before you
explore and try to get anything done.
6. When reading books, don't assume that a series of blank pages means it's
over (it might be that it is over, but check carefully before you
decide).
Vague Hints
General
Q. What's the deal with these birds and coconuts?
A. Ever heard of skeet shooting?
Q. Who's the little guy going by with the cart? Is he important?
A. Help! Help! He's being repressed!
Part I: The Registration
Q. Is there anything I should keep in mind while doing this? Is it some sort
of a game?
A. Have fun and fill everything out. As to importance, have you seen the
movie?
Part II: Gathering the Items
A Sign From God
Q. There's a grail outline up on the billboard. Does it mean there's a grail
I can take?
A. Yes, once it fills out.
Q. Is there anything important in those holes?
A. Yes.
Q. Is there anything else available on the billboard besides the Grail
scene?
A. Quite a bit.
Q. What can I do with all these bananas?
A. You could try attacking someone with one.
Q. Is there anything else important to do here?
A. You might want to come back later to pray . . .
Plague Village
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Are you sure you aren't interrupting a conversation?
Q. How do I take the dung?
A. Perseverance is an admirable quality . . .
Q. Who's the naked guy? Is he important?
A. Looking for a few good men? (bouncy, bouncy)
Q. Why can't I see the three naked ladies, the guy, and the
teaspoon in the window?
A. Are you sure you stared long enough?
Q. Can I get into the house? That mean guy won't let me in!
A. King Arthur is a bit too high-handed in his manners . . .
Q. What's with the lady bashing the cat against the wall?
A. Poor cat! Poor wall!
Q. Is that guy way up there on a wheel important?
A. You could hire him for the Psychic Friends Network.
Q. What do I do with the barrel?
A. You could watch all of the nice fishies jump.
Q. What's with this blue hand floating around?
A. Tenacious little bugger, isn't he? He seems quite attached to your
cursor.
Q. What is there to do with the cart?
A. Lots! You can keep clicking, and clicking, and clicking . . .
(boom! boom! boom!)
Q. I blew up part of the cart! What can I do?
A. Nothing . . . yet.
Witch Village
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Are you sure you aren't interrupting a conversation?
Q. What do I do with the bird in the tree
A. Don't shoot him!
Q. What are those organ noises in the crowd for?
A. A little birdie might tell you.
Q. I think I see some gold in the right window behind the crowd. How do I
get to it?
A. A peep show might do the trick.
Q. I "played" the crowd just as I was supposed to, but nothing happened!
A. Echo . . . echo . . . .echo . . .
Q. What's the deal with the butterfly and the flying witch?
A. Very evocative, don't you think?
Q. Who's that guy standing below King Arthur?
A. King Arthur could use some counseling upon his return.
The Black Knight
Outside
Q. Nothing's happening: the Knight went into the tent and left me alone!
A. You'll cross that bridge when you come to it.
Q. I hacked the Black Knight's limbs off, but Arthur still won't go over
the bridge!
A. Like a bridge over troubled ________.
Q. How do I get into the tent?
A. Listen well and take up botany: it's good as gold.
Q. What do I do with the old woman?
A. Picky, picky . . .
Q. Is Lancelot swinging across of any significance?
A. Oh no, does it mean he's a swinger?! Better keep him away from
Galahad . . .
Q. What's the deal with the falling leaf?
A. You'll have to delve into the Black Knight's private life before it's
of use.
The Tent
Q. How do I get into the chest?
A. You could help out a needy department store . . . .
Q. I opened the wardrobe. What do I do here?
A. This should get you through a "tight" spot.
Q. Anything more to this diary on the bed?
A. What does clicking around the bed area signify what it's used for?
Q. When I try to take the sword all I get is a lecture! How do I take it?
A. Isn't there something else you should be doing? In the meantime
check your drawers.
Q. Is there anything significant about the shield?
A. Have you looked at the Black Knight's costume?
The Book
Q. Is there anything significant about the poems and letters?
A. Hmmm, see any Freudian overtones?
Q. Gold! Gold! Gold! How much should I take?
A. Gold is pretty heavy, you know.
Q. What do I do with Intershrub?
A. For now just give the Knights a nice shrub.
Q. Anything else to the book?
A. You might want to return to venerate the Vicious Chicken of Bristol.
Camelot
Q. All that seems to happen when I click on the castle is somebody says
"Camelot".
A. Remember what I said about perseverance?
Q. What do I do with the cloud?
A. Looks like a floating target . . .
Q. Not another bird and coconut!
A. Yup! Sorry . . .
Q. The castle is coming apart!
A. Think of the bricks as souvenirs.
Q. A jumping sun and cloud! Anything I should do?
A. Tut, tut, it looks like golden rain.
Q. They won't let me do anything more, but I need to get Camelot!
A. Camelot will stay there (at least part of it) if you leave.
Q. I'm back, and I've got Camelot. What's with the coffin?
A. The funeral will have to wait.
Castle Loimbard
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Are you sure you aren't interrupting a conversation?
Q. Are any of the knights useful?
A. One's got the crown, one's got the brains, let's make lots of . . .
er, excuse me
Q. Alright, I figured out the crown allusion: what do I *do* with him?
A. Ah, it's the old perseverance ploy again.
Q. I figured out the brains one too, but he only talks or has something come
out of his skirt!
A. Are you sure there isn't still even more you should be doing?
Q. What do I do with these wacky French guys?
A. Do some masonry work first. There is great strength in stillness.
Anthrax
Outside
Q. I don't want to be called a sissy. Is there a way to get in the hard
way?
A. Have you tried scaling the walls with suction cups?
Q. How do I get the grail from the beacon above the castle?
A. You should get a spanking for such impudence! (Me too, please?)
Q. What are those numbers above the door for?
A. Time for yet another spanking . . .
Q. Is there something I should do before I go in?
A. Create a light show. Celebrate the four seasons.
Q. What on earth do you mean by a light show?
A. Brush up on your astrology then scale the towers.
Q. And what about the four seasons?
A. Does anyone know what ever happened to Twiggy?
Q. Why does this monk guy keep carving the tree?
A. You won't know until you've done your holy task at Anthrax.
Q. Zoot's popped up now. What do I do with her?
A. Well, Cupid's been doing the shooting so long, maybe he should know
what it feels like.
Inside
Q. Golly, this Spank the Virgin game is easy. Is there a reason why I'm
doing this?
A. Have you noticed the odd tattoos in the Nude Bonus Round?
Q. What do I do with these virgins?
A. Call a group meeting?
Q. The virgins keep changing clothes, but when they get to costumes they
stop. Why?
A. Maybe they're displeased that you haven't finished your task.
Q. Who's this virgin who popped up in the center?
A. Repeat the process to find out.
Cave of Caerbannog
Q. Who were those knights who popped out?
A. Maybe you should invite them back if you get a chance.
Q. What are all these explosions when I click on the landscape?
A. Foreshadowing
Q. What do I do with Tim?
A. Maybe Arthur could have a chat.
Q. Oh no, it's the rabbit! What a mean rodent! What do I do?
A. What do you think the spare knights are there for?
Q. OK, I charged, and now I've got the Holy Hand-Grenades. How do I
use them?
A. Make sure you release on 3: spare knights make good targets.
Q. It's a dragon! What do I do?
A. Don't think, just click.
Q. Why won't the guy give me the Goldy Hail? I keep clicking on it!
A. Wait and see . . .
Q. Anything more to do here?
A. Caves can hide *lots* of things.
Q. Oh my gosh: I shot a peasant! Is my Karma ruined forever?
A. You could always ask Joseph . . .
Q. The wooden rabbit is killing knights, and I've tried clicking on it!
How do I take it?
A. Double your efforts.
Q. Should I be doing anything with the pedestal?
A. Later, alligator.
The Bridge of Death
Q. What a nice mountain range in the background. Can you do anything
with it?
A. You could measure it's surface area.
Q. OK, I've gotten everything in my inventory, but the bridge keeper
won't talk to me!
A. Maybe the messenger distracted him.
Q. What *is* the capital of Assyria? I died!
A. What does a prostitute do?
Q. He finally let me by! However, there seem to be quite a few boards missing
on the bridge and I can't cross it!
A. This problem will lead us nicely into . . .
Part III: Returning Items to Proper Places
Before we go on, let me explain what this stage is about. Right now there
aren't enough boards to cross the bridge. However, there are ten important
items in your inventory, and if each of them are placed right (one per scene,
and all in different locations from where they were picked up) in the right
places, each will bring one board to the bridge for a total of 10. If you've
already placed some of the items, and the numbers that you see you need
don't match the locations that are listed here, don't worry: it's a bit of a
bug in the program, and what you see is there on the bridge doesn't always
match what you've done. As a reference, each board is numbered 1-10: 1 is a
Sign From God, and 10 is the Bridge of Death, with every other one numbered
in the order you pass through between those two locations. Remember what
locations you haven't placed items in, and use that as your guide.
Board #1: A Sign From God
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The writing's on the wall.
Q. What do I place there?
A. This one is a bit redundant.
Board #2: Plague Village
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Ever heard of the Holy Grill?
Q. What do I place there?
A. Where would Arthur have barbecues?
Board #3: Witch Village
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. What happened when you "played" the crowd?
Q. What do I place there?
A. Cover her up somehow!
Board #4: Black Knight
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Where in the tent can you get ahead?
Q. What do I place there?
A. What do think would suit the location's mumblings?
Board #5: The Book
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The answer to this is outlined on one of the pages.
Q. What do I place there?
A. What fits the outline?
Board #6: Camelot
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. It's funeral time.
Q. What do I place there?
A. What in your inventory is getting ripe?
Board #7: Castle Loimbard
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Heads up! Another outline!
Q. What do I place there?
A. Besides the outline, what item technically belongs there?
Board #8: Castle Anthrax
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. A place might just pop up.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Something that belongs there.
Board #9: Cave of Caerbannog
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. What place isn't busty enough?
Q. What do I place there?
A. A name is everything.
Board #10: Bridge of Death
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Somebody left a pile next to the bridge.
Q. What do I place there?
A. It's a sign of the times.
Part IV: Lightening Patsy's Load
If you go forward over the bridge you'll notice that you fall through.
Patsy's pack is too heavy! This section will seem like the antithesis to
Part II, i.e. this part will be about getting rid of the items you worked so
hard to collect. However, unless you gorged on gold in the book, pretty
much everything you took was necessary to further the game. So roll out
the barrel and go on a shrub buying spree!!
Q. How do I get rid of all of my items (aside from the gold)?
A. We'll have a barrel of fun!
Q. How do I get rid of the gold?
A. Go on-line.
Q. I spent some gold on shrubbery, but now I have less left than the
cheapest shrub!
A. Don't you remember what you learned in math class? There's still a bank
open, though.
Q. What can I take across the bridge safely?
A. The key is the four of cups
Part V: Somewhere Over the Bridge
Q. I've watched the King Brian sequence. How do I open the chest?
A. You should have figured out the key to that a while back.
Specific Hints
General
Q. What's the deal with these birds and coconuts?
A. Just shoot the bird and take the coconut. You have to do this for the
game to go on.
Q. Who's the little guy going by with the cart? Is he important?
A. It's Dennis! He's mainly a distraction, although you often can do things
after he leaves that you couldn't before
Part I: The Registration
Q. Is there anything I should keep in mind while doing this? Is it some sort
of a game?
A. Keep an eye on the questions the Bridge Keeper asks in the movie, i.e.
name, quest, favorite color capital of Assyria, etc.
Part II: Gathering the Items
A Sign From God
Q. There's a grail outline up on the billboard. Does it mean there's a grail
I can take?
A. The grail will fill out just after you get the gold. Then you can take it.
Q. Is there anything important in those holes?
A. You can get gold, a helmet, and bananas from them.
Q. Is there anything else available on the billboard besides the Grail scene?
A. After you take the Holly Grail, click the sides of the billboard where
the clouds are to see the rest.
Q. What can I do with all these bananas?
A. Nothing. The bananas are useless, but they fill out the inventory nicely.
Q. Is there anything else important to do here?
A. Come back later and click on the billboard until God comes back. Click
on his beard until you get Zoot's Medallion.
Plague Village
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Keep clicking on the Dead Gatherer until the old man is silent. Click
on the old man, then play Drop Dead.
Q. How do I take the dung?
A. After you take the gold under it, just keep clicking on it. You might
have to do more in the scene first.
Q. Who's the naked guy? Is he important?
A. Take the knights quickly as they bounce off the old man, and only stop
when there are no more left.
Q. Why can't I see the three naked ladies, guy, and teaspoon in the window?
A. Are you sure you stared long enough?
Q. Can I get into the house? That mean guy won't let me in!
A. While Arthur's manners don't help, you won't be able to get in.
Q. What's with the lady bashing the cat against the wall?
A. Click on that doorway until the lady bashes a hole in the wall with the
cat. Click on the hole.
Q. Is that guy way up there on a wheel important?
A. Aside from his prescience, he has no value.
Q. What do I do with the barrel?
A. You won't use this until much later. (Section III)
Q. What's with this blue hand floating around?
A. He won't go away until he's got you. To get rid of him (when he's
gripped you with his fist), click as far to the upper left of your
monitor as you can.
Q. What is there to do with the cart?
A. You can further the plot, as well as get the dead body (on 2nd visit), and
satisfy the pyromaniac within. You can also click off the left wheel.
Q. I blew up part of the cart! What can I do?
A. You'll need to have this done for Section III, so good job!
Witch Village
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Keep clicking back and forth on Bedevere and the witch until the Burn
the Witch option comes up, then play the game.
Q. What do I do with the bird in the tree
A. Watch him as he lays objects into the crowd. Notice what happens
when he lays a skull.
Q. What are those organ noises in the crowd for?
A. Click on the bird (just don't explode him) until he lays a skull in the
crowd. He'll show you the correct order to play the crowd.
Q. I think I see some gold in the right window behind the crowd. How
do I get to it?
A. Play the crowd as the bird shows, and the witch will open her robe.
Afterwards, just click on the left window behind the crowd and it will
move back so that you can take the gold.
Q. I "played" the crowd just as I was supposed to, but nothing happened!
A. It may take a few repetitions before it works.
Q. What's the deal with the butterfly and the flying witch?
A. This seems to be mainly a confusing distraction. I haven't found any
use for it, at least.
Q. Who's that guy standing below King Arthur?
A. It's Joseph of Aramathea! And look! You have a perfect place for
him in inventory!
The Black Knight
Outside
Q. Nothing's happening: the Knight went into the tent and left me alone!
A. Click on the center of the bridge and he'll come back. Play Knights in
Combat.
Q. I hacked the Black Knight's limbs off, but Arthur still won't go over the
bridge!
A. Click on the ditch until it fills with water. Arthur will cross now.
Q. How do I get into the tent?
A. Click on the steer skull until he tells his full story. Then click on the
leaf on the lower right edge of the screen. After you take the gold
from the old woman, Arthur can go in.
Q. What do I do with the old woman?
A. Click on her nose.
Q. Is Lancelot swinging across of any significance?
A. He's just for atmosphere and comic relief.
Q. What's the deal with the falling leaf?
A. After you have found the PlaySquire magazine in the Black Knight's diary,
click on leaf to get it to fall, then click on it while on the ground. A key
will magically appear for you to take.
The Tent
Q. How do I get into the chest?
A. Just take the mannequin parts. Then you can open the chest.
Q. I opened the wardrobe. What do I do here?
A. Take the black Knight's tights, and note the response of the hat
holder there.
Q. Anything more to this diary on the bed?
A. There's a PlaySquire magazine hidden after several blank pages.
Q. When I try to take the sword all I get is a lecture! How do I take it?
A. You can take the sword after you've gotten the prosthesis, tights, gold,
and read his diary.
Q. Is there anything significant about the shield?
A. The shield shows his coat-of-arms. It's not worth anything more than
comic relief.
The Book
Q. Is there anything significant about the poems and letters?
A. They're just there to read. Enjoy!
Q. Gold! Gold! Gold! How much should I take?
A. Don't take more than you need: you'll have to get rid of it all in the
end to lighten Patsy's pack. Remember this location if you get your
math wrong trying to get rid of all of the money.
Q. What do I do with Intershrub?
A. Just send them a shrubbery for now. You can use the site later to spend
any extra gold.
Q. Anything else to the book?
A. Return to the book later to take the sign of certain death from Sir
Robin's page.
Camelot
Q. All that seems to happen when I click on the castle is somebody says
"Camelot".
A. They'll stop saying it if you click enough times.
Q. What do I do with the cloud?
A. Shoot first, ask questions later.
Q. Not another bird and coconut!
A. They come up in some form in every scene. It usually means you're on the
right track.
Q. The castle is coming apart!
A. Keep taking the bricks until you can't take any more.
Q. A jumping sun and cloud! Anything I should do?
A. Click on the cloud and you'll get some gold.
Q. They won't let me do anything more, but I need to get Camelot!
A. You'll have to leave and then return before you can take the rest of the
bricks and Camelot.
Q. I'm back, and I've got Camelot. What's with the coffin?
A. You won't use it until Part III.
Castle Loimbard
Q. Why can't I seem to do anything in this scene?
A. Keep using the "up hand" and "down hand" to further conversation until
the Catch the Cow option comes up. Play it, although you don't have to
win.
Q. Are any of the knights useful?
A. Only Arthur and Bedevere are of use.
Q. Alright, I figured out the crown allusion: what do I *do* with him?
A. Keep clicking on Arthur until a sheep's bladder comes out. Take it.
Q. I figure out the brains one too, but he only talks or has something come
out of his skirt!
A. The Rolly Polly will only come out of Bedevere's skirt if you've gotten
all the items from the top of the castle.
Q. What do I do with these wacky French guys?
A. You can find both the "vous" and gold by clicking on bricks. Once done,
the right Frenchman should stay still. Click on him until he throws the
Samurai Helmet.
Anthrax
Outside
Q. I don't want to be called a sissy. Is there a way to get in the hard way?
A. Nope. You've got to be a sissy and click on the door 5 times.
Q. How do I get the grail from the beacon above the castle?
A. Play Spank the Virgin in the castle, and you'll find the correct combination
of numbers in the Nude Bonus Round to enter into the combination holder
above the door
Q. What are those numbers above the door for?
A. This is the place you enter the combination you got by playing Spank the
Virgin.
Q. Is there something I should do before I go in?
A. You can turn on flashing lights around the top edge of the castle and
above the door (see next question for details). You can also get some
important items by clicking on the stubby twigs on the lower right
branch. (the stubby twigs are just left of center).
Q. What on earth do you mean by a light show?
A. If you click on the brightest star between the castle and the left tree
trunk, a constellation will pop up. If you keep clicking Virgo the
Virgin will appear (with sound effect). Once done you can click on
the upper edge of the castle until it has flashing lights all across.
Once done, an oval of lights should appear above the door. Click
on it and the "Anthrax" sign will show. Neat, huh?
Q. And what about the four seasons?
A. Click on the stubby twigs on the lower right branch. (the stubby twigs
are just left of center). This should bring up Spring with blossoms.
Clicking at the base of the new branch will cause it to go into Summer
with broccoli. Clicking there twice more at that spot will bring it
through all four.
Q. Why does this monk guy keep carving the tree?
A. He'll leave some gold behind eventually, but only after you've gotten the
Moldy Tail.
Q. Zoot's popped up now. What do I do with her?
A. Just shoot the cupid and take the coconuts. You won't need Zoot again
until Part III.
Inside
Q. Golly, this Spank the Virgin game is easy. Is there a reason why I'm
doing this?
A. The Nude Bonus Round will give you the combination that you need to
have to get the Moldy Tail.
Q. What do I do with these virgins?
A. Click on them until all of the virgins are present. Then it's time to
change clothes.
Q. The virgins keep changing clothes, but when they get to costumes they stop.
Why?
A. You won't get them to continue until you've gotten the Moldy Tail and the
gold from the monk.
Q. Who's this virgin who popped up in the center?
A. Take her through the same costume changes as the other virgins, then take
her bodice after the final change.
Cave of Caerbannog
Q. Who were those knights who popped out?
A. You'll need to bring them all back out for the rabbit to appear. It needs
*someone* to kill.
Q. What are all these explosions when I click on the landscape?
A. It means Tim the Enchanter is coming. Keep clicking until the cave area
explodes.
Q. What do I do with Tim?
A. Maybe Arthur could have a chat. Click on Arthur twice.
Q. Oh no, it's the rabbit! What a mean rodent! What do I do?
A. Go ahead and attack the rabbit. It will only use up those four spare
knights, who will then be magically resurrected.
Q. OK, I charged, and now I've got the Holy Hand-Grenades. How do I use
them?
A. Pick a grenade while holding down the left mouse button and drag it on
top of the rabbit. When he lunges left, release it just as it reaches the
far left knight and Arthur says three. If you don't get the first one, the
next time the rabbit will lunge for the lower right knight.
Q. It's a dragon! What do I do?
A. Click on him when he appears in the hole, then click on him after the
chase is over.
Q. Why won't the guy give me the Goldy Hail? I keep clicking on it!
A. He'll give it to you eventually. He's just being a tease.
Q. Anything more to do here?
A. You still have another bird with a coconut, a peasant to shoot, and a
wooden rabbit to get.
Q. Oh my gosh: I shot a peasant! Is my Karma ruined forever?
A. It's just a game, silly!
Q. The wooden rabbit is killing knights, and I've tried clicking on it!
How do I take it?
A. Try double-clicking on the rabbit instead. This should work.
Q. Should I be doing anything with the pedestal?
A. Wait until Part III.
The Bridge of Death
Q. What a nice mountain range in the background. Can you do anything
with it?
A. It's not just any land, it's Huge Tracts of Land.
Q. OK, I've gotten everything in my inventory, but the Bridge Keeper won't
talk to me!
A. Leave and then return, and the Bridge Keeper should talk to you after the
Historian leaves.
Q. What *is* the capital of Assyria? I died!
A. It's a trick question! You'll die with any answer.
Q. He finally let me by! However, there seem to be quite a few boards missing
on the bridge and I can't cross it!
A. You need more bridge boards to cross. See the next section for where to
put stuff so that more boards will be available to step on.
Part III: Returning Items to Proper Places
Board #1: A Sign From God
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Click on the sides of the billboard until "Huge Tracts of Land" comes up.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag "Huge Tracts of Land" onto the billboard.
Board #2: Plague Village
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. If you click on the cart, one of the explosions will reveal a grill-like
cavity. That's where to put the object.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag Camelot from inventory onto the grill area.
Board #3: Witch Village
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Click on the witch until she opens her robes
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the Virgin's Bodice onto the witch's naked body.
Board #4: Black Knight
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. On the hat rest inside the wardrobe in the Black Knight's tent.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the Samurai Helmet onto the hat rest.
Board #5: The Book
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The sword outline on Sir Lancelot's page.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the Black Knight's Sword onto the outline.
Board #6: Camelot
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The casket (it can be gotten by clicking on the remaining door).
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the Dead Body into the open casket.
Board #7: Castle Loimbard
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The upper part of the rabbit outline on the bricks of the castle above
(in the left section).
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the wooden rabbit onto the upper half of the rabbit out-line.
Board #8: Castle Anthrax
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. Click on the bottom (left-of-center) of the screen to get Zoot: it's
her hat.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag Zoot's Medallion onto Zoot's hat.
Board #9: Cave of Caerbannog
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. The pedestal with "Joseph" on it.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag Joseph of Aramathea onto the pedestal.
Board #10: Bridge of Death
Q. Where do I put the object?
A. In the far lower left of the screen is a pile of rocks with a hole in it.
Q. What do I place there?
A. Drag the certain death sign over the hole in the pile of rocks.
Part IV: Lightening Patsy's Load
Q. How do I get rid of all of my items (aside from the gold)?
A. Put everything aside from the gold, the fake grails, and the key
into the barrel.
Q. How do I get rid of the gold?
A. Get rid of every single gold coin by choosing the right combination and
number of shrubs on Intershrub.
Q. I spent some gold on shrubbery, but now I have less left than the
cheapest shrub!
A. If you got your math wrong, don't worry: the page before Intershrub has
a nice supply of coins you can take, and please do a better job of
planning your purchases ahead this time!
Q. What can I take across the bridge safely?
A. You can only take the four fake grails and the key.
Part V: Somewhere Over the Bridge
Q. I've watched the King Brian sequence. How do I open the chest?
A. Use the key.
For the Desperate: List of Items and How to Get Them
Blossoms: from twig outside the Castle Anthrax
Broccoli: from twig outside the Castle Anthrax
Wooden Rabbit: from Cave of Caerbannog (after the rabbit is killed
and all objects taken)
Huge Tracts of Land: mountains behind bridge
Coconuts:
A Sign From God: (from bird) clicking on ground after
initial dialogue
Plague: (from bird) clicking on naked man after clicking
on curtains
Witch: (from bird) clicking on Bedevere after playing
Burn the Witch
Black Knight: (from bird) clicking on steer skull in
front of tent after playing Knights in Combat
Book: (from bird) clicking on page after drawing of page
Camelot: (from bird) clicking on castle after clicking on
cloud
Loimbard: (from bird) clicking on Arthur after playing
Catch the Cow
Anthrax: (2 from Cupid) clicking on Zoot after playing
Spank the Virgin
Caves of Caerbannog: clicking on cave after taking Goldy
Hail from Dragon
Bridge of Death: clicking on Bridge Keeper after arriving
at Bridge with all items (w.o. message)
Gold Coins:
A Sign From God: clicking on lower right hole in the ground
repeatedly (could help to get helmet first)
Plague: clicking on hole bashed into the wall by the woman
whacking her cat against the wall repeatedly
Witch: clicking on right window behind the crowd
Black Knight: (outside) clicking on old woman's nose after
clicking on leaf at the lower right of screen
(inside) in top drawer of wardrobe
Book: clicking on page after drawing of page
Camelot: clicking on cloud when sun and cloud come out jumping
after repeatedly clicking on Camelot
Loimbard: clicking on brick in center section of wall,
it's centered vertically, and second from right
Anthrax: left behind by monk after working on tree (after you get
Moldy Tail).
Caves of Caerbannog: by shooting peasant after clicking on cave
(just after getting coconut)
Camelot: Camelot clicking repeatedly on tower when the bricks are gone
Bricks: by clicking on castle (over two visits) until only tower is left
Samurai Helmet: from right Frenchman (after gold and "vous" is found)
Sheep's bladder: by clicking on Arthur enough times at Castle Loimbert
"Vous": Loimbard, in the top brick of the left section of the castle
wall after finding gold
Virgin's Bodice: inside Anthrax by clicking on virgins after getting all
items at Anthrax
Joseph of Aramathea: at 2nd visit to Witch Village
Black Knight's Sword: in Knight's tent, after getting tights, gold, prosthesis,
and reading diary
Key: outside Black Knight's tent, by clicking on fallen leaf after viewing
PlaySquire in tent
Black Knight's Tights: in his tent, hanging in his wardrobe
Holy Prosthesis: in chest inside Black Knight's tent
Certain Death Sign: on Sir Robin's page of the book on 2nd visit
Zoot's Medallion: by clicking on God's beard on the billboard on 2nd visit
Helmet: at Sign From God, gotten by clicking on lower left hole
Bananas: gotten by clicking on center right hole at Sign From God
Dead Body: gotten by clicking on cart upon 2nd visit to Plague Village
Dung: at Plague Village, gotten by clicking on repeatedly after the gold
underneath has been taken
Knights: at Plague Village, gotten by clicking on naked guy, then "catching"
the knights as they bounce off him
Holly Grail: gotten from billboard at Sign From God
Hilly Holly: gotten at some unknown point during 1st visit to Plague Village
Rolly Polly: gotten from underneath Bedevere's skirts after getting all items
at Loimbard
Moldy Hail: gotten by putting the correct combination above the door of Anthrax
Goldy Hail: coughed up by dragon at the Caves of Caerbannog after killing
rabbit
Holy Grail: gotten from chest at end of King Brian the Wild Scene
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