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The Curse of Monkey Island MiniFAQ
Insult Swordfighting
Part 1: Version Info
Part 2: Ship to Ship Combat
Part 3: Normal Insults
Part 4: Rottingham Insults
Part 5: Credits
[if you want to use this FAQ for your website, email me at
sithlord984@hotmail.com]
Part 1- Version Info
1.0, 9/5/2000 started FAQ. Insults, responses done.
Part 2- When you finish singing with your crew, its time to get to work.
Talk to Haggis
about easy fighting or hard fighting. If you choose to have it easy
"I'd rather
let you guys help me out" You will find it only takes one cannonball
to knock the
other ship out of the water. If you decide to have it hard. It will
take many more
cannonballs to knock them down. After you defeat a pirate using the
insults below,
its time to visit Plunder Bay where you upgrade your cannons from
level one to
ultimate firepower so you can fight Captain Rottingham by using the
correct responses
to his special insults.
Part 3- Normal insults, use these when you are swordfighting against regular
pirates
Every enemy I've met I've annihilated!
With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
I look THAT much like your fiancйe?
Would you like to be buried or cremated?
With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.
Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died!
The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
I'll skewer you, like a sow at a buffet.
When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!
Killing you would be justifiable homicide.
Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.
En garde! Touchй!
Oh, that is so clichй!
Throughout the Caribbean my great deeds are celebrated!
Too bad they're all fabricated.
When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified.
At least mine can be identified.
You can't match my witty repartee.
I could, if you would use some breath spray.
I can't rest until you've been exterminated!
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.
You're the ugliest monster ever created.
If you don't count all the ones you've dated.
I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated.
Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!
Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified.
Is that your face? I thought it was your backside!
I'll hound you night and day!
Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!
Part 4- Against Captain Rottingham, respond correctly to his insults
Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated!
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.
When I'm done, your body will be rotted and putrefied!
Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.
Your lips look as they belong on the catch of the day!
When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!
You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified!
At least mine can be identified.
Your looks would make pigs nauseated.
If you don't count all the ones you've dated.
My attacks have left entire islands depopulated!
With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei.
I look THAT much like your fiancйe?
My skills with a sword are highly venerated.
Too bad they're all fabricated.
You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my prey!
Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!
I can't tell which of my traits has you the most intimidated.
Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!
I give you a choice. You can be gutted, or decapitated!
With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.
Nothing can stop me from blowing you away!
I could, if you would use some breath spray.
I have never lost a mкlйe!
You would have, but you were always running away.
Never before have I faced someone so sissified.
Is that your face? I thought it was your backside!
Nothing on this earth can save your sorry hide!
The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
Your mother wears a toupee!
Oh, that is so clichй!
Part 5- Credits.
Uh. me, Jerec for taking the time, to do this.
Please dont use for commercial purposes.
Insult Swordfighting
Part 1: Version Info
Part 2: Ship to Ship Combat
Part 3: Normal Insults
Part 4: Rottingham Insults
Part 5: Credits
[if you want to use this FAQ for your website, email me at
sithlord984@hotmail.com]
Part 1- Version Info
1.0, 9/5/2000 started FAQ. Insults, responses done.
Part 2- When you finish singing with your crew, its time to get to work.
Talk to Haggis
about easy fighting or hard fighting. If you choose to have it easy
"I'd rather
let you guys help me out" You will find it only takes one cannonball
to knock the
other ship out of the water. If you decide to have it hard. It will
take many more
cannonballs to knock them down. After you defeat a pirate using the
insults below,
its time to visit Plunder Bay where you upgrade your cannons from
level one to
ultimate firepower so you can fight Captain Rottingham by using the
correct responses
to his special insults.
Part 3- Normal insults, use these when you are swordfighting against regular
pirates
Every enemy I've met I've annihilated!
With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
I look THAT much like your fiancйe?
Would you like to be buried or cremated?
With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.
Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died!
The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
I'll skewer you, like a sow at a buffet.
When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!
Killing you would be justifiable homicide.
Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.
En garde! Touchй!
Oh, that is so clichй!
Throughout the Caribbean my great deeds are celebrated!
Too bad they're all fabricated.
When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified.
At least mine can be identified.
You can't match my witty repartee.
I could, if you would use some breath spray.
I can't rest until you've been exterminated!
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.
You're the ugliest monster ever created.
If you don't count all the ones you've dated.
I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated.
Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!
Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified.
Is that your face? I thought it was your backside!
I'll hound you night and day!
Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!
Part 4- Against Captain Rottingham, respond correctly to his insults
Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated!
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.
When I'm done, your body will be rotted and putrefied!
Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.
Your lips look as they belong on the catch of the day!
When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!
You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified!
At least mine can be identified.
Your looks would make pigs nauseated.
If you don't count all the ones you've dated.
My attacks have left entire islands depopulated!
With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei.
I look THAT much like your fiancйe?
My skills with a sword are highly venerated.
Too bad they're all fabricated.
You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my prey!
Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!
I can't tell which of my traits has you the most intimidated.
Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!
I give you a choice. You can be gutted, or decapitated!
With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.
Nothing can stop me from blowing you away!
I could, if you would use some breath spray.
I have never lost a mкlйe!
You would have, but you were always running away.
Never before have I faced someone so sissified.
Is that your face? I thought it was your backside!
Nothing on this earth can save your sorry hide!
The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
Your mother wears a toupee!
Oh, that is so clichй!
Part 5- Credits.
Uh. me, Jerec for taking the time, to do this.
Please dont use for commercial purposes.